MONDAY

Last Monday was real bad. Real bad.
No need to go into detail. I want to keep it under 500 words.
Balance is not innate and has nothing to do with being a Libra. Balance is learned after many a hard lesson.
My lesson comes in the form of Monday.
I hate Mondays.
I know Monday is temporary. A bad case of ‘this too, shall pass’.
That mantra doesn’t always soothe this savage beast.

Disclaimer: My disdain for Monday is unrelated to the stereotypical reasons the rest of the human race hate Monday. It’s not because the weekend is over and the drudge of deadlines and alarm clocks begins again. It’s not the sluggish traffic to the office delaying the inevitable when all I want to do is get it over with. It’s not even the phony smile I sport to dodge the whizzing jibes.

Here is the recipe that comprises my most hated 8 hours of the week:
There is something wrong with my energy the second I step into the office on Monday. The air is curdled and frenzied. The stress is wire taunt. Every ounce of ‘happy me’ is drained by the first ringing phone.

It can be sunny, it can be cold. It can be a holiday, a boss-free day, a free lunch day. Nothing takes the sting out of Monday. I have even started disappointing my Sundays in dread of my Mondays.

Pathetic.

But hating Monday is not about where I am. It is about who I am.

I hate Monday for whisking me away from my home, my studio, my keyboard. I hate Monday for being my source of sustenance and support. There is a cracked molar in my head. There is a 20 pound tabby too fat to lick her own butt and a vet appointment that raped my frail income.

So Monday has proven (gah!) useful. Monday provides balance. Monday is the deep breath I take and hold as long as possible to enjoy the eventual release. Monday, it turns out, only intensifies my gratitude for the other days of my week, when I can basically do whatever I want. Which is make art.

If it weren’t for the muck and mire of Monday, I’d never appreciate what lies beyond it.

I’d never prize the people who don’t bully me. I’d never bother to meditate. I’d never step back from a painting and think ‘damn, life is good’.

This Monday I will enjoy the pettiness. I will revel in the traffic. I will celebrate my aggravation. I will sit in the pain and know it is the balance that I need.

Sigh…it’s still Monday….